The Race
by samsolace
Summary: After The Intern, same AU. Humor, Fun. Karev and Grey duke it out in the Race of the Century. Not a romance. Includes all the interns. Mostly Karev and Grey. Meredith's point of view. She's pissy and out to take Evil Spawn down!
1. The Challenge

_**This story takes place after The Intern in Season 2, same AU. I don't claim to own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters. This fanfiction is written for fun only, not for profit.  
**_

**The Race**

**Chapter 1: The Challenge**

"Oh, yeah?" asked Meredith with slitty eyes. Alex Karev was dancing on her absolute last nerve! She pushed the sleeves of her long-sleeved undershirt up, and straightened her scrub top over her scrub pants.

"Yeah!" Alex couldn't resist taunting Mer. She was a patsy for it.

"I am not a wimp! Take it back! Are you going to take it back?" Meredith growled. She watched Alex throw off his sweatshirt and pull on his scrubs.

George and Izzie had never heard that tone from their usually soft voiced house mate. They exchanged wary glances as they dressed for work.

"No way! You're tiny. You're a ninety pound weakling. You're a girly girl. Face it. You're not tough. And you never will be!" Karev gloated and laughed.

She took a slug at his shoulder with a pint-sized fist. He held her at arm's length with a hand on her head. Her fist hit nothing but air. She jerked away as he snickered at her again.

"Yeah, well, are you willing to put your pride where your big mouth is, Godzilla?" Meredith flared at the man who was usually a good friend.

Cristina's attention was caught. Wow, Mer really was in a snit! Cristina evaluated Evil Spawn through narrow eyes. Then she looked at Mer. Evil Spawn was definitely underestimating Meredith's competitiveness.

"What do you have in mind, teeny meanie?" Alex grinned at her, charmed by her hot green eyes and the steam coming out her ears. He'd been bored and poking at her all week, until she finally blew.

"A race! A bet! I bet I could win a race from the Hancock Street bridge to Seattle Grace Surgical Wing entrance against you, Gargantua, Tuesday morning before work!" She panted recklessly, determined to take the bigmouth down a peg. She definitely _wasn't_ charmed by him!

"No way! I could whip you with one hand tied behind my back! I work out every day. I run three days a week." Alex knew he'd kill her.

"Oh, yeah? Then you agree to a handicap! I want a quarter mile." She pounced, her green eyes flashing.

"What! ...," Alex stuttered, starting to get that she was serious.

"You can't back out now, Karev," said Yang sardonically, "Meredith, what does the winner get?"

"If I win, you are my slave for one month, Alex, and you keep your big mouth shut! The details to be determined later," Meredith stated firmly, a rabid glint in her eye.

"So what if I win, Genie Eyes, do I get my fondest dream for a month?" he raised an eyebrow and looked her up and down with dirt in his eyes.

"Hey, no sex, Alex!" protested Izzie.

"You pervert!" was George's two cents.

"My fondest dream is to have a free pass on all rectals, vaginals, and enemas for a month! You're the pervert, O'Malley." Karev sneered, "Plus Miss Teensy Weensy here writes up all my post-ops."

"Well, I don't want you anywhere near my post-ops because your writing sucks! But you can certainly take all the rectals and enemas, Proctology Pete!" Meredith was done, "I'll meet you at the bridge Tuesday, four o'clock a.m., Goliath, no holds barred."

"As for the rest of you, no gossip! This is between Gilgamesh and me! I mean it!" She jammed her pockets and waistband full, and slammed her locker door in emphasis.


	2. Back Fence Chatter

**The Race**

**Chapter 2: Back Fence Chatter**

"So, Dr. Grey," ventured Tolliver, a tall, tired ER nurse from the Pit, "Been hearing some interesting things."

They were resetting and restocking a trauma room together since the Pit was short staffed.

"Oh, yeah? Like what?" Meredith didn't really want to know. Gossip sucked. And she was still in a pissy mood from Alex talking trash this morning. She counted supplies and listed the inventory they were using on one of the innumerable forms she had to fill out each day. Forms sucked too! In fact what didn't suck, today?

She pulled out a health bar and stuffed some of it in her mouth. She handed Tolliver a chunk. He stuffed his and together they chewed... and chewed... and chewed. He made a face. She mirrored it.

"Cardboard!" they said together in complete agreement. It took half a bottle of water each to wash it down. They gave each other a high five.

"We need to find something else to snack on."

"I know, let me know if you find anything."

"I heard Karev's been challenged to a grudge race. Know anything about that?" Tolliver asked gingerly. The normally easy going, pretty, young doctor was very prickly today, but this was too good to pass up. A Karev-Grey match up for personal scut rights! Yeah! Tolliver had it from Tyler, who had it from Olivia, who had it from Debbie, who had it from overhearing Cristina Yang telling her boyfriend, Dr. Burke, that Grey had challenged Karev to a duel. Pistols at dawn! What was better than that? The nurses all knew that Meredith liked Tolliver so he was the one they sent in to gather intel. Olivia, the ex-squeeze, was assigned Alex.

"Who told you that?" Grey demanded angrily, her delicate features flushed. And then, when he mimed locking his lips and throwing away the key, she said, "Oh never mind! I know who blabbed! I'll kill all three blatherskites! There's bound to be a case of Bubonic Plague here sooner or later! And when it shows up, they're goners, the rats! I'll make sure of it!"

"So no holds barred, huh? What exactly does that mean?" Tolliver fished.

"It means I'll win, 'cause he won't expect me to grab his nuts and squeeze!" she fumed, "I'll show him who's little. Calling me teeny weenie meanie! I'm sick of it! What are you smirking at!?"

Tolliver, who stood six foot two and weighed two hundred pounds, made the mistake of smiling at her problem of being called little, when he thought he could probably wrap one hand around her waist and touch his thumb and forefinger together. He wiped the smirk off his face and tried to look seriously offended for her sake.

"Nothing, nothing at all." Tolliver said, controlling his amusement, recognizing that Dr. Grey was a surgeon who was getting better with her scalpel on a daily basis. Best to err on the side of caution. Besides, he was smarter than Karev. The teeny ones were often the most ferocious. Especially if they didn't know they were teeny.

"Say, who do you think the nurses will back? Is Alex still being a horse's rump to the nursing staff? Let's talk," Meredith dragged a stool over and plunked herself down ready to dig for some intel of her own before she headed to the cafeteria for lunch.

ooo

"No, Olivia, I'm going to beat Grey back to the stone age. She's toast," Alex said, annoyed. Olivia had latched on to him when he was headed for the dining mall. He paused in the hallway. How had everyone already found out about the stupid bet? No, he didn't even need to guess. Those three loud mouthed magpies couldn't wait to spread it around. He was going to kill them. One day a giant pillar would fall on them, yeah, maybe at the ferry dock, all three, and he wouldn't be there to pull it off of them. Just wait.

"Alex, why do you think it's going to be so easy? She could win, right? And then you'd be stuck... how? What's the bet for anyway?" Olivia fished.

"When I win, she'll do all my rectals, vaginals, and enemas for a month, plus all my post-op write ups." Alex grinned in anticipation of winning.

"And if Meredith wins, what then?" Olivia asked, a concerned look on her cute little freckled face.

"She won't win," he sneered, crossing his arms, all He-man.

"If she does?" Olivia persisted, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear.

"I'm her slave for a month, etc., etc., etc." Alex rolled his eyes, bored.

"Alex, what makes you think she has no hope at all?" Olivia wondered cautiously.

"Are you kidding? A.) She's a cute chick! 2.) She's itty-bitty! And.) She's a weakling! Totally.) No one with boobs can beat me! Plus.) She's a girly girl. How's she going to run me down? By crying and begging me to give her the win? Believe me, I won't. She's nothin' but a nurse! You need to be hardcore to be a surgeon and you need to be hardcore to even get near me! I'm going to shove her girly face in the ground!" He grinned cockily, "It's no contest."

"Oh," Olivia, the cute, girly girl, itty-bitty, beboobed, nurse, chick said slowly, "I see."

ooo

Dr. Shepherd watched Stevens and O'Malley peering over the balcony railing at the dining area below. They excitedly raced from one vantage point to another, clearly keeping track of a moving target. He walked up behind them and looked over their shoulders. All he saw was Dr. Karev eating lunch at one table while Dr. Grey bought lunch at the salad bar.

"Fifty on Grey. She'll wipe the floor with him," Izzie said positively.

"There's no way! Alex is going to kill her," George protested, "She's my friend too, and I'd love to see Karev brought down, but what the heck does Meredith think she's doing?" They watched Meredith take a seat at Alex's table as if nothing were going on.

"She's meaner than she looks, plus – her mother...," Izzie raised her brows, tilted her head, and pursed her lips meaningfully. George still looked doubtful.

"Doctors," Izzie and George jumped guiltily at Derek's voice, "What's going on between Meredith and Karev?"

"Nothing," they said in unison, then looked at each other, their expressions as easy to read as a twenty point font.

"Nothing, nothing at all, gotta go," said Izzie trying to inch her way out of Shepherd's shadow.

"Doctors," Shepherd said smoothly, "Sometimes interns run afoul of attendings. When they do, it's not a pretty sight – the interns can end up looking like road-kill."

Stevens and O'Malley tried to squeeze further away from the attending in front of them but their backs were against the rail and there was no way out. Shepherd smiled at them.

_O, grandma, what big teeth you have!_

_The better to eat interns with!_

"Okay, okay, but you didn't hear it from us," Izzie, the gossipmonger, caved first. Not because she was scared of McDreamy, she was just dying to spill the news to someone and she'd been so _good_ all day! She'd have the excuse that McDreamy threatened her with fire ants now. It was too good an opportunity to waste.

"Izzie, I don't think...," George was silenced by the combined might of both Izzie and Shepherd staring him down.

"Well," Izzie motioned Derek closer, leaning her bright blond head in near his black locks, and speaking in Rita Skeeter's poison pen voice, "confidentially, you know Bailey's interns have had seminars all week. Alex went nuts with boredom, of course. He's such a thirteen year old, you know? Well anyway, Meredith was sitting in front of him. He started in on her a week ago. It was like watching an arsonist build a fire. He kept piling on the kindling, then the accelerent, over and over, more and more. By this morning she burst into flame! I think he thought it was going to be a campfire, instead he got a bonfire... that's what they say, isn't it... arsonists get burned by their own fires." she finished chattily and far too brightly. Maybe she could start using a dulling toothpaste to dim her teeth. That would probably help. And have you ever noticed there seems to be a strange empty bubble forming in Izzie's head where common sense should reside? Like the opposite of a tumor. What's up with that?

"Yeah, well, Meredith may end up getting really burned instead, Izzie," George inserted with squishy Georgeness.

"What do you mean? So she's mad at Karev. He'll live," Shepherd shrugged, unconcerned. He'd lived and Lord knew she'd been mad enough at him to spit nails before.

"No, you don't get it," George looked over the rail longingly at Meredith, "She challenged him to a no hold's barred race. They're racing from the Hancock Street Bridge. He's going to make mincemeat out of her. He'll rub her face in it for years. She's making a huge mistake, but she won't listen to anybody."

Shepherd looked over the rail too, suddenly worried for her. She was so small next to Karev. He fought the protective instincts that wanted to go muscle Karev away from his woman. Meredith was _not_ his woman, he sternly told himself. He didn't have any rights where she was concerned.

"George! You tried to talk her out of it, didn't you?" Izzie was scandalized, "What were you thinking? Everyone knows you can't back down once you throw down the surgical glove! She really would be a wimp and a coward! If she races and loses, then at least she followed through. She's not a coward. Don't you get it? What did she say to you anyway?"

"She said, 'Buzz off, George, before I take you down with him.'" George looked shame-faced as Izzie laughed.

"That doesn't sound like Meredith." McDreamy said looking longingly at Meredith too.

"It was! Believe me Alex has started something bad – very bad!" George warned.

"When's the race?" Derek asked, "And what are the stakes?"

"Tuesday, at four in the morning, can you believe it?" Izzie was disgusted at the inconvenience of it, completely forgetting she wasn't invited. Neither was anyone else.

George spilled the stakes to Shepherd in detail, seeing no need for discretion since Izzie had revealed so much already. Tommy, from the lab, and two guys from psych finished eavesdropping and headed back to their departments to spread the news.

ooo

"May I join you, Ajax?" asked Meredith.

"Sure," Alex indicated the chair across from him.

"The carrion birds are circling," she said, putting salad dressing on her salad, "not to mention the jackals and the hyenas."

"I noticed. Want to back out?" Alex inquired politely.

"No! You?"

"No... but, those three irritate me. This was a private battle rap," he commented.

"I know, maybe a toxic patient will come in and the minute the surgeon starts to cut her open toxic gas is released that kills all three of them." Meredith said hopefully.

"Yeah, that'd be cool. The whole surgical team all dead on the floor and the patient all open on the table. It could happen. I can totally see it." Alex and Meredith grinned at each other in dark evil accord.

ooo

"She's going to do what?" Mr. Sandage said to Bernice, the coffee cart lady and quidnunc, feeling slightly stunned as they watched Karev and Grey leave the dining area forty five minutes later.

"It's true! I got it from the peds intern Michelle, who got it from her husband in the lab, Mickey, who got it from Tommy,his assistant, who overheard Stevens and O'Malley telling Shepherd all about it. The nurses got all the details except time and place earlier. Now we've even got that, thanks to O'Malley and Stevens." Bernice was positive of her sources.

"But, what are they thinking? She'll be hurt." He felt disquieted. These interns were always getting into something, like two year olds, he thought.

"I don't think so," said Bernice, she'd seen a lot of interns like Karev come and go over the years, "He's cocky and a jackass, and he shouldn't underestimate Dr. Grey. She's tough and a survivor. Dr. Karev is confused by what she looks like on the outside. You'll see."

ooo

"Don't get me wrong," said Alex, as Meredith and he left the dining mall, "I'm still going to give you a spankin' on Tuesday and put you to bed!"

Meredith's face turned all Mistress of the Damned, "You don't look nearly as good as I do in black vinyl boots and whip, Achilles. We'll see who gives whom a spanking. Who knows," she said, nostrils flaring, "you may even like it."

They smiled menacingly at each other.

**Please review.**


	3. Run For It

**The Race**

**Chapter 3: Run For It**

The night was black and chilly. At a quarter to four in the morning on Tuesday, it was raining in a slow, nasty drizzle. The street lights cast a strange, sickly yellow glow over the wet pavement. Puddles looked deep and dark even if they were only an inch deep. Not good.

Karev grinned at the unease he saw on Meredith's face. He had his battle rap ready, "You can still concede, 'cause no matter how much you plead and bleed you still won't have enough speed. Don't worry out in this slurry, I have pity for the itty-bitty, even as I rap my ditty. I won't be too hard on the growth retard, discard, when I win before we begin. Take it on the chin, it's not a mortal sin," he rhymed smugly, in a mocking inaccurate imitation of the great Ali. He stretched out his hamstrings and then his quads. Dancing up and down on the balls of his feet he punched the air.

"As if, Dr. Doom, I have no room for your petty gloom!" Meredith spat back following his battle rap style. She was really over her snit but his continued arrogant ass routine grated, so she had to keep her end up. How did she get herself into these fixes? Oh yeah, annoyance and pride. Let's see how fast they made her run.

Both she and Alex were dressed in warm sweat pants and hoodies. He was in light grey and dingy white, she was in a darker charcoal grey, the color of the pavement. She'd chosen the color instinctively as good camouflage. You never knew when you might need good camo.

They'd agreed to use Izzie as a starter, knowing they couldn't talk her into not showing up. Alex waited at the bridge and then Izzie drove Meredith a quarter mile up the road to a pre-set drop point. Meredith climbed out, gut churning, checking her gear one last time. She drew in deep breaths. The streets were deserted and eerily quiet.

She could do this. She was stronger than she looked. She was clever and wily. It was a relatively short race. She'd done her homework and had covered the race terrain eleven times since the bet, often between midnight and four thirty, scoping it out, working it out, timing it out. She was a problem solver and the problem here was to smash Alex (aka Lex Luther) to smithereens. When in doubt, keep your eye on the smithereens, she paraphrased badly to herself, her competitive blood up.

Izzie, rubbing it in with morning person glee, while disregarding Meredith's sick look, said, "Good luck, Mer. Remember, every woman at Grace wants you to kick his butt. We're all pulling for you." She cheerily extracted her cell phone out of her pocket and called Alex, while looking down the road at him. "You ready?... What?... Don't yell at me!..." They went into a Lexie verbal tailspin on the phone. Meredith waited until her synchronized watch said four o'clock exactly and then sprinted down the road. "We'll start at four and not a minute before... Listen... just because you think you're the king of the universe, doesn't mean... what?... oh, yeah, Meredith just left, it must be after four... oh yeah, it is, go."

Meredith paced herself, checking her time repeatedly on her watch, going over her plan in her mind, looking for snags one more time. _Don't Panic. Bring your Towel. _The instructions from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy floated through her otherwise numb brain. She had calculated the rough area where she could expect Alex to overtake her. So she stayed sharp, regulated her breathing, and kept to her pre-calculated race pace. Alex may end up the winner, but he was going to have to work for it.

Meredith ran down the dark street through a rather run down section of town, avoiding bottomless puddles. She ran past the house with the Schnauzer that always barked, past the broken street light, and around the first corner. Right on time she heard Alex pounding down the street after her.

She started having second thoughts about her plan until he called out without even sounding breathless, "This is a slaughter. We're not even a fourth of the way there, Mighty Mouse, and I'm already passing you up, even with the head start! Double X's just can't dominate the Y," he was gleeful. That did it. Her plan concretized. It was all or nothing from this point forward!

She waited, trying to time it just right. She knew, like all arch-nemeses that he wouldn't be able to resist the urge to gloat and he'd dart in too close to her. She gripped the knife she usually kept in her purse firmly in her right hand and crowded the curb to the right forcing Alex to pass her on the left. He wasn't really paying attention to her. He was chanting some inane battle rap at her. She closed her ears and focused. Closer... closer... he passed her, deliberately bumping into her and making her slow down to avoid tripping. It was just what she knew he'd do. She struck out lightening fast with her left hand and pulled his elastic waistband back a foot exposing his more than passable ass clad in blue cotton briefs. Darn, she'd hoped to get both pants and underpants. With a practiced click and flip her scalpel sharp blade was out and Surgeon Grey sliced his pants straight down as far as she could reach in the second she had. Alex swore in surprised shock and grabbed for his pants, rap forgotten.

Meredith jerked her knife back, flipped it closed, and put on a burst of speed, darting to the right, away from Alex, through a lady's front yard and into her neighbor's yard. The neighbor and the lady stood at the open gate of a back fence, under bright house lights, laughing and waving Meredith through.

"Free physicals for your families next week, ladies, thank yoooou." Meredith breathlessly yodeled to them as she raced through the gate.

The two old birds cackled with glee as they watched the handsome young doctor stumble into the grass with his pants falling down and wadded between his knees. He hiked them up angrily and started to follow Meredith through the yards but the old women slammed the gate closed and shook their fingers at him in the universal 'no, no, bad boy' hand sign. Alex swore again in frustration as he was forced to go the long way around by the street rather than short cut through the yards. The two old ladies confirmed genially in loud laughing voices that he did have a very nice posterior view. Alex couldn't help laughing at himself under his breath at that. Meredith had surprised him. He hadn't seen her be this feisty in a while. If this was how she wanted to play, he'd play. She wouldn't get the drop on him again, and damn it, these stupid pants were slowing him down. He was having to hold the back closed as best he could. Forget it. He stopped and pulled his sweat pants off, losing time as he struggled getting the tight cuffs off over his shoes. He'd just wrap the pants back around when he got to the hospital. First he had to win. He took off running again at a mile eating pace.

_**Please review. Thank you. sam**_


	4. Run Far, Run Fast

**The Race**

**Chapter 4: Run Far, Run Fast**

Meredith couldn't quite believe her 'expose the ass of the Ass' gambit had semi worked. Excellent.

_Hey! Don't get cocky._

The timing had gone well though. He'd only been slightly faster than she'd estimated so her escape route was available as planned. Mrs. Hernandez and Mrs. Gonzales, the two old birds who let her through their back gate, thought the whole short cut through the yards thing hilarious.

Mer panted as she ran super hard uphill for the next showdown point. She was slow, slow, slow! It was imperative she get there ahead of Alex. If he caught up with her out in the open where she had no escape he'd pulverize her. She knew he'd be hard to surprise again and he was a strong, fast athlete who would have no compunction about paying her back.

She was approaching the crest of the hill, the area where Hamilton Street sloped steeply downhill, switching to the right and then switching back to the left, doubling on itself but going lower down the hill. Monroe Street crossed Hamilton and created another switch to the right and then a switch to the left, each section lower than the last. Meredith had realized when she checked the course that this was a place she could pick up time if she could go straight down in a straight line rather than running along the road in a series of mini switchbacks. All she needed was a way to drop straight down in the dark without injuring herself while preventing Alex from following her. The roads were both scenically lined with a green verge of woods and underbrush. Meredith could go from the road, through the woods, down the cut face of the hill to the road below cutting off whole loops of road and saving tons of time. Since the road serpentined back and forth she could pull the trick three times. If only she could beat the Hulk to her off road point.

Meredith glanced behind her and caught sight of Alex's light clothing in the distance. Darn it, she ran as fast as she could and knew it was going to be tight. She frantically searched for the drop point marked with reflective tape. She wanted to duck into the drop and peel off the tape before Alex could tag where she left the road. She knew she was extremely hard to see in her shadow colored sweats, so she stayed as unobtrusive as she could on the street, dodging to avoid the few streetlights or cars that illuminated the area. Her feet were pounding out the words of her frantic mantra. _Where's the tape? Where's the tape? Where's the tape? _ There it is!

Meredith gasped in relief. The stitch in her side from all out running was excruciating. There was no time. Every second counted. She didn't know if Karev could see her or not. She ducked into the dark wooded area and pulled her marker down as she went. There was the white clothesline cord on the ground she'd used to mark her way through the woods. She just had to follow it. She fell to her hands and knees and crawled through the heavy underbrush in the pitch black dark following the cord by feel. It was only a few feet but it felt like forever. She bumped head first into a chain-linked fence. She carefully crawled through the hole she'd cut in the fence earlier in the week. She still had two blisters on her hands from that operation. Meredith pulled her thin leather gloves out of her pocket and grabbed the long, thin, green, climbing rope that was securely tied to the fence. She dropped down the steep hill, going as fast as she dared, hanging on to the camouflaged rope for support.

Alex was running easily and quickly. He kept checking for Mer ahead of him, but she was hard to see in the dark in her pavement colored sweats. Every now and then he'd catch a glimpse of a street light reflecting a streak of shiny blond in her dark honey hair. He knew the uphill climb would be tough for Mer and he anticipated it slowing her down drastically. He was going to pass her again on the downhill switchbacks. He wondered what she'd try next when he passed her. He had to hand it to the Lilliputian, he thought in admiration, even as the cold breeze chilled his bare legs and thinly covered backside, she was game. He suddenly realized she'd disappeared. The last time he'd really seen her position was half-way up the hill when a car had passed her. Where was the bantam? He increased his speed knowing now that she was tricky. Better not take any chances.

Meredith panted and her arms felt like they were being pulled out of their sockets when her foot slipped out from under her again.

_Stay focused! Stay focused, Mer. Just keep going one step at a time as fast as you can. That's all._

Another part of Meredith reminded her that as she was playing Spiderman, her nemesis, Doc Oct was probably going to round the bend any minute and she had to cross the road and get into the underbrush of the next verge before he saw her. She could use some of the webslinger's strength.

Meredith's feet hit level ground and she heaved a sigh of relief for her abused biceps. She threw the end of the rope as high up the slope as she could and ran across the road to the next covering layer of shadowed brush. There was no sign of Alex yet. Wild hope filled her heart, maybe she could pull this off.

Meredith crawled through another fence and grabbed another rope. This was a slope instead of a drop so she actually made good time dropping down without too much pain. She ran across the road again and crawled through the last tree and brush covered verge. Mer didn't notice her hair filled with twigs and leaves and pulled lose in messy wisps all over her head. Her face stung from two scratches on her cheek. Her knees were caked with mud and leaves. She took off the gloves each time she crawled because she didn't want her gloves to get slick or wet from the muddy ground. She wiped her dirty hands on the thighs of her pants and pulled the gloves on for her last, most difficult drop. It was almost vertical.

ooo

Derek paced the second floor attendings' lounge overlooking the race 'finish line'. Addison thought he was insane getting up at three o'clock this morning so he could be at the hospital extra early. He'd just told her he had an early surgery and things to do before it. A crowd was beginning to gather down below. Judging from the pink, grey, brown, green, white, lavender, blue and orange uniforms the entire hospital was represented. This was crazy. What was Meredith thinking? What was Karev thinking, for that matter?

The door swung open and Burke entered. He raised an eyebrow at Shepherd pacing agitatedly back and forth in front of the beautiful picture window.

"So, you've heard," said Burke.

"Who hasn't?" Shepherd gestured out the window at the throng, "What does Cristina say about all this? Has Meredith talked to her?"

"Cristina says next to nothing to me about her friends. She says it's an intern 'thing'. She did tell me that Grey had challenged Karev to a race from the Hancock Street bridge due to 'pissy' differences. That's all," Burke shrugged.

"Karev is going to leave her in the dust. She'll try, but in the end she'll lose and be humiliated or physically hurt or both," Shepherd rubbed his hands through his curly, black hair.

The door swung open again and the Chief entered carrying a cup of coffee and a Danish. Both his Head of Cardiothoracic Surgery and his Head of Neurosurgery gave disapproving looks at the pastry and his waistline.

"Shut up," he said, "Any word yet on the race?"

"You know about it too?!" Shepherd asked, "You could have stopped it before Meredith gets hurt."

"Not my jurisdiction. What these first years do off duty, before work is their own business," said the Chief, "Besides, what makes you think Meredith will get hurt or will lose? I've known Grey women for years and they don't lose. They are tougher and more competitive than you will ever know. In fact I've got one hundred that says Grey wins this race. Karev won't know what hit him."

"I'll take that action, Chief," Burke said amusedly, "Grey has guts, I'll give her that, but she needs speed and brawn to win. Karev has it all over Grey."

Shepherd couldn't believe they were making book. He paced back to the window and looked into the distance for any sign of the two combatants.

_**Thank you for reviewing. sam**_


	5. Run For Your Life

**The Race**

**Chapter 5: Run For Your Life**

Alex Karev was beginning to get worried. Where was the munchkin? He ran swiftly and easily looking left and right as he went, making sure she wasn't collapsed on the side of the road somewhere. He should have passed her by now or at least seen her. He wanted her defeated and writing his post-ops, not lost or hurt. He ran downhill through the set of switchbacks faster and faster. He couldn't believe Toto was ahead of him still, but he kept looking forward into the distance trying to catch a glimpse of her through the gloom.

ooo

Meredith gave a strangled scream as she dangled precariously from her last rope, about ten feet above the road. She scrabbled for purchase against the hill and lowered herself hand over hand. This was definitely not one of her better ideas. She should have visited the wizard to get a brain _before_ trying this stunt. Her heart beat rapidly and leaped into her throat.

_Every thing's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay. Yeah, where is Glynda when I need her?_

Maybe being Karev's slave for a month wouldn't be all bad. She was actually _good_ at rectals, vaginals, and enemas. Her hands and arms were burning. Her right shoulder felt sprained. Her knees were bruised and she couldn't catch her breath. Maybe she was a teeny weany after all. Ow.

Her feet hit the ground and she scrambled to get herself together. Maybe she could take a minute 'cause she really _was_ still ahead of Alex somehow... No... No way. She was ahead and she was going to stay that way! She would be a winner. That loudmouth would be stuck with _her_ enemas and vaginals, not the other way around, he was good at them too. She staggered down the yellow brick road. At least her arms weren't involved.

Meredith's pace was excruciatingly slow – too slow. Alex would catch her for sure if she couldn't pull it together. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to think of the plan. She knew exactly how far she had to go to get to the next showdown point, but now she doubted her ability to get there before being overtaken. She had underestimated the toll the three drops would take on her. So she needed to go to desperation plan B. She knew it was risky, involving close contact with Karev, but it was all she could think of as a contingency plan. He would be expecting something after the last close encounter so she had to plan it out just so. At least one way or the other it would soon be over. They were getting closer to the hospital.

Meredith kept running. She shifted her knife from her right hoodie pocket to her right hip pocket. Then she checked for the desperation plan B tool in her left hip pocket. She untied her scarf which had been loosely knotted at her throat, and left the ends dangling down her chest. She carefully checked her time and sped up. She chanced a look over her shoulder and gasped. There he was. Closer than she would have thought possible. Either he was moving faster or she was moving slower than she had predicted, or both. She was definitely in dire straights.

Alex saw Meredith ahead of him finally and breathed a sigh of relief. She was favoring one side slightly and he couldn't tell if it was because her side or her leg. She was covered in bits of foliage and dirt as if she'd rolled on the ground. At least she hadn't got off lightly for whatever tricks she'd pulled this time to get so far ahead of him. He smiled inwardly in admiration. She was a game little chickadee. He was closing in on her fast. He had this race just about won.

ooo

Other attendings gathered in the lounge waiting for the ending of the great race between two crazy first year interns. More than one wager was cast. Talk buzzed irritatingly around Derek's ears. He wished they'd shut up. Where was Meredith? Surely she and Karev should be closing in on the hospital by now.

Down below the crowd had more than doubled. Personnel going both off duty and on duty paused for the race finale. Dr. Grieg, a sixth year general surgeon stood on top of a scaffold with a pair of binoculars, looking at the far end of the street.

"There they are!" the shout went up from Grieg and the crowd applauded and cheered loudly, "Grey is in the lead! She's a dark horse, that one," he announced incredulously, "But not for long, Karev is overtaking her with twice her speed. Grey is limping!" Money exchanged hands and the crowd noises increased.

The attendings in the room above opened the windows so they could hear the announcing from down below, staying out of sight so they wouldn't have to reprimand anyone. Derek felt as incredulous as everyone else that Meredith was still neck and neck with Alex. How in the world had she managed that?

ooo

Meredith saw her next showdown point ahead and knew all she had to do was make it there to stand a real chance at winning. But with Karev overtaking her like a fast moving tornado she was in trouble. Okay, desperation plan B better work. She veered to the right, seemingly forcing Alex to pass on the left as she had done before. He didn't fall for it, of course. He charged up behind her on the right, carefully watching her right hand which was hidden in her hoodie pocket. She whipped it out and he was ready. He grabbed her wrist in a vise hold, slowing them both down. There was nothing in her hand! What the...

She turned her hand over and gripped his wrist as firmly as she could. Her left hand, already grasping the desperation plan B tool in her left hip pocket, frantically quickdrew it and snapped it around Alex's wrist. Meredith dropped his wrist with her right hand in the same motion and pulled the filmy opaque scarf from her throat. She shoved it in his face trying to obscure his vision. Karev, outraged that she'd done it again, grabbed her, thinking she'd run for it. She didn't. She stepped closer, twisted like a slippery little eel, trying to catch his arms behind his back. When that didn't work, she turned her back to his chest, drawing his arms around her in the front. She grabbed the dangling end of the handcuffs and snapped the other side onto his free wrist. She had planned to handcuff him to a fence if possible but there was nothing here that could work, so she was improvising as much hassle as possible to slow him down. Too bad she couldn't cuff his hands behind his back at least. Maybe he wouldn't want anyone at the finish line of the hospital to see him handcuffed with no pants. She'd win by default.

"Damn it, Meredith! What did you do that for!?" Karev wrestled Meredith over to a sign post. She fought him the whole way, struggling and slip sliding around, trying to get away, "Give me the key to these, my little pretty, or you'll be sorry."

"It's at work in my locker. I don't have it with me! Aagh! Brute! Wicked! Wicked!"

ooo

"Wait, something is happening! Karev passed Grey and now they are locked in physical combat! Grey has something shiny in her hand. What?! She has locked Karev in a pair of handcuffs. What the h...!" Grieg was laughing loudly at the sight through the binoculars, "And to top it off, folks, Dr. Evil Spawn has apparently lost his pants. He is running out there in his briefs only! We can only guess how that happened! Mwa ha ha ha!"

"This race is turning into a wrestling match... Evil Spawn has the teeny tiny doctor in a body lock. Wait folks! He seems to be tying the munchkin to a sign post, with the sleeves of her own sweatshirt and the remains of his pants!" Grieg had to stop to catch his breath he was laughing so hard, "Ooh she's slippery! She almost got away from him there," the crowd roared with laughter and the attendings up above jockeyed for viewing space.

Derek's gut clenched unhappily at the sight of Meredith in another man's arms, particularly as that man had apparently lost his pants somewhere. Derek wanted Meredith to stop touching Karev _now_, even if she was making that man's life hellish at the moment. If she was going to wrestle and play and relate with a man, it should be him.

ooo

Meredith made Alex fight for every knot he used tying her to the sign post. She scrabbled round and round confusing him and taking advantage of the fact that he would never actually hurt her and that he really did think of her as a fragile little doll. Before he immobilized her she managed to surreptitiously grab her knife out of her back pocket and hold it in her right hand. Alex finished tying her and turned his back, nonchalantly walking away, thinking her secure.

"Your trip down the yellow brick road is over, Dorothy. Why don't you try saying the magic words, 'there's no place like Grace', three times fast, while you click your heels," Alex threw over his shoulder as he strolled away. Bigmouth. It made her mad all over again. She gritted her teeth and glared at his back. He wasn't even running now. He was walking, slowly at that. Rat fink!

Meredith was tied to the sign post by Alex pulling the sleeves of her hoodie criss-cross her body and then tying around the post behind her back. Her arms were semi trapped in an almost straight jacket fashion. He had used the remnants of his trousers to double tie her hips to the post.

Meredith pushed a button and flipped her wrist as best she could. Her knife's razor sharp blade cut through the fabric binding her as if it were butter. She wriggled and cut and before Alex was ten steps away she'd cut her top half loose. She slid the knife under the torn and tied leg of Alex's sweat pants and sliced it deftly. She was free. She pulled her cut hoodie off over her head. She wore a green body suit underneath it. She quietly walked twelve steps behind Alex saying nothing. If she was lucky they would quietly walk to her next showdown point, without him ever knowing she was loose and sneakily following him. If she could reach the next point a little rested she might actually stand a chance.

Karev worried at the handcuffs trying to get them off over his hands. They were on too tight. Damn, exactly what had that girl intended? Here he was, almost bare-assed in the predawn cold wearing handcuffs. Great. He'd win now, but she had her pound of flesh. Who'd have thought she was lions and tigers and bears all rolled into one. Alex was sorry he had ever goaded her this far.

Oh crap! What was going on at Grace? The lot in front of the finish line was full of crowds of people. What was he supposed to do? Waltz up to the crowd like this? He should have taken her pants off her and somehow squeezed into them. They'd looked baggy on her. Crap! Who was he kidding? That wouldn't have worked. He was so screwed. This stupid bet! Alex's mind worked frantically. He could call Izzie on his cell and convince her to bring him some scrubs or something. Yeah, that was the ticket.

He'd call Izzie and wait here until he had pants. The munchkin was all tied up. He could take the time. He glanced back at Meredith as he dialed his phone. Wait! Where was that rotten little girl?!

_**Thank you all so much for reviewing. I appreciate all of the feedback and encouragement. sam**_


	6. Attack!

**The Race**

**Chapter 6: Attack!**

"Oh my God! She's somehow loose! How did she do that!?" Sixth year general surgeon, Grieg shouted out, "It looks like she cut herself free before the Spawn had even taken ten or fifteen steps! Ladies and Gentlemen, the Spawn is not even running while the little creampuff is sneaking up behind him! Oops! There goes her shirt. Well, it was cut to pieces anyway. Oh, too bad, she wearing some kind of sparkly green workout thing underneath it. Those two crazy kids will limp over the finish line together with one set of matching tops and bottoms between them!"

_What? _Derek strained to see through the darkness. _What was Grieg using? Infrared binoculars? _Meredith and Alex had walked out of street light range and were in the gloom again. This was maddening.

Down below Cristina, Izzie and George were being buffeted by the ever growing crowd. The coffee cart ladies were doing a booming business. One lady had turned her popcorn popper on at four fifteen in the morning when she'd seen the crowds and was industriously making a fortune, since she'd cornered the popcorn market. The other ladies were doing a muffin palooza business.

"What did you two do?" Cristina demanded, "This was supposed to be a private grudge match."

"Us? You told Burke! The nurses overheard you. Olivia asked me if what she heard was true," George accused back, "What was I supposed to say?"

"Meredith and Evil Spawn are going to have a fit over this. I just told Burke, my boyfriend. We have to have something to talk about. You two...," Cristina waved a hand at the spectacle, "Bambi, Tinkerbell, you've gone too far! How did you manage to tell the entire hospital? Take out a news bulletin on every floor?"

"Well Meredith and Alex are both still in the race. They're having a good time, right? They won't care," Izzie said with an inane happy smirk on her face at all the excitement while she looked all around.

Both O'Malley and Yang looked at her as if she'd just had a lobotomy.

"Listen, you fluff headed Pollyanna, apparently Meredith has somehow done something to Karev to cause him to ditch his pants. Karev has tied Meredith to a sign post. Meredith has _handcuffed_ the man," Cristina said with sarcastic emphasis, "She is limping and favoring her side, which means she's hurt! She's covered in leaves and dirt so she probably fell somewhere. She has her knife out – _never_ a good sign with Meredith. Karev is walking, not running – _never_ a good sign with him. Both are going to arrive here half naked in front of the entire hospital. No matter who wins there will be hell to pay. We'll be lucky if they don't kill us."

Izzie's pink lips parted for some defensive answer when her cell rang. She pulled it out of her pocket and checked who was calling. Alex?

"Hello, why are you calling me? Aren't you supposed to be racing?" she said stupidly.

Alex's voice was distant, as if he was holding his cell two feet from his mouth, and directed at himself rather than her, "Damn it! She's escaped... Wh..."

Dr. Grieg's voice shouted cheerfully from above them, "She did it! She got the drop on him. The little tart has sneaked up behind him and grabbed the hem of his shirt! She's pulled it up and over his head! Now she's running for it! She's in the lead again! Whoa. Not for long, it looks like he's got control of the shirt even with handcuffs on, ha ha ha, and he's after her. There is no way she'll survive this one!"

"Izzie! Izzie! Get me a set of scrubs! I mean it! Have them at the finish line!" Alex shouted into his phone and then slammed it shut. He stuffed it in his hoodie pocket and ran like hell after the winged little monkey in front of him. Good God, she was freaking unstoppable!

Meredith panted great sawing breaths as she ran faster than she'd ever run before. It was right there, so close, so close. She heard a wildly frustrated Karev pounding down the road after her. She glanced behind and gave a girly little shriek when she realized how close he was. She started zig-zagging jaggedly trying to avoid capture. Meredith saw Alex's arm swing at her out of the corner of her eye and instinctively she ducked and applied the brakes letting him dart past her and turn to catch her on the rebound. She darted to the right, avoiding him again and ran for it. He grabbed at her back and closed his fist around sweat suit material. She let Alex have the cut up hoodie she'd draped around her shoulders. It slid in to his hands, while Meredith put on a burst of speed.

She darted to the fence on the left looking for the opening. There it was. A large gate was swung shut against the fence and the two were chained together locked with a padlock. She hurriedly pulled the gate out from the fence as far as the chain would allow. There was only about seven or eight inches of space between the fence edge and the gate edge.

Meredith exhaled and sucked in her already flat gut. She stepped through the hole with one leg, squatting under the chain and trying to shove her body through the opening without scraping and bruising every last square inch of flesh on her body. She turned her head sideways and shoved herself through. Karev was on her. He got in an instant what her last sneaky strategy was and he was determined she'd fail! He grabbed her right leg, the only part of her still on this side of the fence and started hauling her back.

"Oh no you don't, Dorothy! I've got you!" Alex shouted triumphantly.

"That's what you think, you big galoot!" Meredith yelled back.

Meredith snapped her knife open with a lightening fast motion. She grabbed her pant leg and slashed it open with her surgeon sharp blade. She managed to cut and tear it all the way around her leg with Alex inadvertently helping by applying a steady pulling pressure. He fell sharply backwards on his well muscled, more than passable ass, at the sudden cessation of resistance. His hands were full of her pant leg turned inside out and pulled toward him with the bottom cuff caught around her slim ankle by her shoe. She kicked him distracting him and then cut her pant leg below her foot, trying to free herself. He grabbed for her again and she scraped her heel on the ground freeing her foot of her shoe and pulling backwards with all her strength. Her leg and foot came flying through the opening sans pant leg and shoe.

She scrabbled backwards out of his reach getting in the free zone. She couldn't help casting her eyes on her right shoe lying forlornly on the sidewalk on the other side of the Berlin Wall.

"Oh no you don't, Underdog!" Alex picked up her shoe and threw it down the street as far as he could, panting wildly. Meredith had never seen him looking quite like this. Then again, she'd never been involved in any event quite like this before herself. She forced herself to shakily stand.

"We'll see who gets there first, Man of Steel," she said defiantly, standing on one sock foot and one shod foot, one leg bare and the other covered, one cheek bruised and the other scratched.

Meredith resolutely turned her back on her opponent and started running on a straight line across a software company's huge grassy field, towards Grace's Surgical Wing doors. Alex would be forced to either climb the barbed wire topped fence practically naked or he would have to run a squared off ninety degree angle course. He would follow the fence she'd circumvented to the end of the property next to Grace and then sharply turn left to run through Grace's staff parking lot to get to the finish line. He'd run the two legs of a right angle while she ran the hypotenuse. See, geometry has its uses, she thought idiotically, puffing as much air as she could into her burning lungs. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Karev running at an absolutely blistering pace down the sidewalk. Good he wasn't coming over the fence.

ooo

Dr. Webber leaned closer to Shepherd to get a better view of the two maddened combatants by the fence of Grace's next door neighbor.

"By God, I told you, Burke, never count out a Grey woman," he said smugly, "They think on their feet, plan ahead for all contingencies, they're tough as nails, and they are great with knives!"

Burke laughed out loud in disbelief as they watched Grey determinedly cutting her own pants leg free, "That girl is something, all right!"

"These women are different. They're not like normal women," Shepherd said in a peculiar voice as he watched Meredith beat Karev back one more time. She was so tiny and frail looking until she stood up with the bearing of a Valkyrie.

"Damn straight!"

"You got that right!" the chief and Burke spoke at the same time.

The attendings were all amazed at how Meredith had managed to stay even with Karev. It seemed impossible. But now it was a straight race to the finish with no more tricks up Grey's non-existent sleeves.

"She's not going to make it," Burke said as he eyeballed the distances involved.

"Do you care to double our wager, doctor?" the Chief inquired archly as he watched Ellis' little girl run for all she was worth.

"You're on!" Burke grinned. He was going to take the Chief. He could just never let Cristina know he'd bet against her 'person'.

Shepherd pressed his hot forehead to the glass, watching the limping one-shoeless girl giving it her all. She would never give up. It wasn't in her. Her hard childhood under Ellis' thumb had made giving up impossible. He wanted her to win. Just this once, let Meredith win.

ooo

Grieg laughed so hard he nearly fell off his perch. Shouts from the crowd demanded commentary.

"Okay! Okay. Grey sneaked up behind Karev, who for some crazy reason decided this was a good time to make a phone call – talk about your cell phone addicts! – and she blinded him by pulling his own sweatshirt over his head. With handcuffs on he was in trouble for a minute there. That maneuver bought her just enough time to spring ahead." Dr. Grieg paused to laugh again.

"He's after her again. Wow! Look at her weaving and dodging! She's like a wide receiver with the football heading for a touchdown. Oh! He almost had her there, folks, but she jerked back and ducked in the nick of time. She seems to be headed for the gate to the place next door. Maybe she doesn't know it is chained and padlocked! She won't have the time to pick that lock." Grieg sucked down some high octane coffee and resumed.

"What the ...?" Grieg was stunned to momentary silence, "The tartlet is sliding through the gap between the fence and the gate! How in the world? I guess all the ribbing about her size is being rubbed into Evil Spawn's face right about now. Ooh, he's got her. There's a messy ground war going on right now, people. They're fighting for possession of Grey's leg. She's on the ground bracing her left foot against the fence, pushing hard! Oh my! What was that! She is slicing her right pant leg off! That girl is a surgeon! There he goes! He's tipped over on his rump! She's down but not out. Grey is kicking Karev in the chest. She's free! Oh my God! She's free. She is inside the fence and he's outside. It looks like she sacrificed her shoe as well as her pant leg. Yep! Karev just threw it down the street. He's looking a little beat up, as well as naked. She's off running straight for us people! Get ready for the end of the race!"

Cristina, Izzie and George all groaned and looked at each other in dreadful silence as the crowd roared.

_**Thank you all for reviewing. It is fun to hear from you. Please review this chapter.**_


	7. I Win!

_**Thank you all for the reviews. So many of them make me laugh. They delight me. sam**_

**The Race**

**Chapter 7: I Win!**

Good! The cocky know-it-all Boromir thought she was done. Well she wasn't! Alex was headed for a surprise, hopefully a big one. She just had to win, she did. Meredith carefully flipped her trusty little knife, named Sting after Frodo's elvish sword, closed. She put it in her hip pocket so she wouldn't lose it in the wild dash to the finish line. Her foot was soggy and frozen from the cold wet ground. She also apparently had an affinity for every twig, stick and rock in Seattle. In spite of the ground hazards, Meredith ran like the horrible ringwraithes were after her. She wanted to win the race, sure. She also wanted to get off the software company's grass before she was arrested for trespassing. They were not known for their support of the little guy or their sense of humor. That was strong motivation to move it!

Alex ran like a freight train on a straight away to the end of the fence line. He hung a sharp left as hard as he could and sprinted for Grace. What now?! Cars were parked all willy-nilly in his way in parking spots and the roadway. The sidewalks were barricaded and blocked off. It was an uneven, jagged maze of cars for him to leap around slowing him with every step. He started noticing all the parking stickers on the cars were green with a large N on them. NURSES! Bah! They couldn't stop him. No one could.

ooo

"Oh, oh, oh," chortled Dr. Grieg loudly to his loyal listeners, "It looks like the Spawn is caught in a maze of cars in the parking lot. That'll slow him down."

"Seriously, people, we have to think how we're going to explain all this," Cristina said, uneasily glancing at the Mayday fair of folks gathered for the finale. This was getting ridiculous. Cristina looked up and noticed all the staff and even patients watching from every conceivable vantage point from the second floor windows. She groaned. Mer would not be amused, especially looking the way she was bound to look from Grieg's descriptions. And Evil Spawn... Cristina didn't want to think about the retribution he was capable of enacting. And heaven forbid Bailey finding out the extent of the disturbance her interns had created. How were they all going to gloss over that?

"Well, Alex wants scrubs so I'm going to go get them for him. Maybe that will help. I'll bring scrubs for Mer too," said Izzie, finally getting a little worried.

"Bring towels or blankets or something too, in case they are really cold or wet," added George, cringing at the thought of what Meredith would say.

"Plus, we have to be ready for rounds. If we're late again Bailey will assign us all to the morgue!" Cristina reminded them.

"Better to be_ assigned_ to the morgue than to be _tagged_ in the morgue, which is what could happen to the three of us," George moaned morosely, "Izzie, if only you hadn't blabbed to Shepherd."

"What? She blabbed to Shepherd?! Do you two have a death wish or what?!" Cristina was already thinking of ways to escape being lumped with the tattling twins. Oh man!

ooo

Alex finished winding his way through the frustrating maze of cars. Ha! He tried to check where Mer was but his view was blocked from this angle. He forged ahead running for the shortcut through the grass to the Surgical Unit's doors. Damn it again! How had that little orc done this?!

The grass shortcut may just as easily have been the Dead Marshes instead of a grassy area. Someone had turned four hoses on full blast into the area the night before. Mr. Sandage, the maintenance man and Meredith's good friend, calmly stood by preventing anyone from moving or turning off the water. The area was a seven inch deep quagmire of mud and slippery grass. Alex had to choose to wade through the Dead Marshes slipping and sliding up past his ankles or he'd have to run around the long way _again_.

ooo

Dr. Grieg, a sixth year general surgeon, shouted jovially from the top of what had become his stage, "Our contestants are in the final heat, ladies and gentlemen! The tiny tot has taken the byway through the Internet highway of our software neighbor to the north. She'd better pray she's not caught. The red eye of cyber Sauron sees all. Rumor has it trespassers are sent to the black ruined lands of Mordor. Mount Doom becomes their backdrop instead of Mount Ranier. Wait, our tiny tot is already dealing with an Evil Spawn Uruk-hai, there's no need for her to go to the black wastelands, after all." Some people looked at Grieg as if he'd lost his mind. Others sighed as they once again dealt with the surgeon's eccentricities.

"What are you talking about, fool? What's happening with the race?!" shouted an irate listener who had two hundred riding on Karev.

"Uh, sorry, got swept away there into Middle-earth. Back to our boy, the Spawn. Ha ha ha, he is approaching a real dilemma folks. After running the gauntlet of the parking lot maze, I'm sure he thought he had it made. Not so! He has the choice now of wading through a messy muddy quagmire or running the long way around. Well, it looks like he's taking the long way folks. I imagine a guy with no pants on wearing handcuffs doesn't want to risk a slip into the Dead Marshes! One slip and that would be all she wrote."

ooo

Derek leaned forward as far as he could to catch a glimpse of Karev barreling in from his left while Meredith hot footed it from his right. They were so close to the end it was hard to tell who was going to get here first. Oh, my God, they both looked like they rode to Hell on the E-train and stayed for an extended visit.

The Chief surreptitiously crossed his fingers in his pocket. The little Grey gal would win, he had faith, but she could use all the help she could get about now. He tried to help her all he could with his body English. Faster, Meredith, faster.

"So Burke, your boy's still not in. Care to double up again?" the Chief backed his faith with his cash.

Burke could not believe his eyes. Karev was still not at the finish line. He'd been delayed twice more – cars and mud? Seriously? Burke craned his neck to look for Grey's position. They looked neck and neck to him, each closing in now on the final finish. But he had to face down the Chief.

"You're on, Chief! Your girl has been through the wars and is flagging," Burke stood by his bet. Shepherd groaned.

The crowds parted to allow easy access to the doors to the runners. They were revved to a fever pitch shouting encouragement to their favorites, forgetting the time of day, forgetting decorum. Everyone kept looking back and forth as if they were at a tennis match.

ooo

Meredith reached the end of the field and hit the main entrance drive. She ran down it and out past the guard shack without stopping when two guards yelled at her. Thank God there was no traffic. She hung a right out the gate and ran as fast as her sock footed, bare legged, barely clad torso, wild haired, bruised faced self could go. At least she was in the bright lights of both the hospital and the software company now, instead of running over uneven ground in the dark. Meredith saw the huge crowds gathered at the entrance all screaming loudly.

"You three are dead to me," she muttered fiercely under her breath, cringing inside at the show she was putting on.

Great! All she needed was the perfect He-She-Shepherds to see her looking like this! That would top the whole experience off. Cherry on top and all.

She hoped Karev had been delayed as much as she'd calculated by the car maze and the swampy ground. It had been all she could think of in the short time she had before the race. The nurses had been strangely cooperative. Mm, Meredith wondered how Karev had managed to offend them this time.

Meredith poured every last bit of steam she had into her awkward, limping run. She concentrated fiercely on winning the race, ignoring the jeering, cheering crowds. Her game competitor's heart, that didn't know she was tiny, dredged up the last of its reserves and pumped her legs faster, like Frodo running the last steps into Mt. Doom.

She gasped hard for breath when she saw Alex rushing towards the same goal from the opposite direction. She resolutely turned her eyes away and focused on the doors. Someone opened them so the two runners wouldn't crash into their finish line. The crowd roared approval and advice.

Meredith leaned forward desperately and stretched her hand out to the entry. She was ahead but she was much slower. It was a matter of Karev overtaking her now or not. She saw a flash of dingy white to her right and then she was over the finish line!

_**Please review. Thank you. sam**_


	8. Mud Pies

**_4-12-07 I have enjoyed this little fic so much. I let myself indulge my weird thinking and references that pop up in my own head all the time. Plus, relatively polite combat and funny revenge is not anything I ever let myself have in the real world, but I sure love in a fic. Thank you all so much for sticking with me through The Race. Thank you for commenting. _  
**

**The Race**

**Chapter 8: Mud Pies**

"Who won?" demanded the Chief.

"I don't know, I couldn't see." Burke answered, "They were under us at the finish."

"What's that Grieg is yelling?" the Chief leaned closer to the window to hear.

"Oh my God! It was almost a photo finish. This was one of the hardest fought races I've ever seen. But did David manage to bring down her Goliath? Tolliver! Tyler! You guys were on either side of the finish line. Who won?! The Spawn or The Prawn?!" shouted Grieg. Silence fell on the crowd.

Tolliver and Tyler consulted with each other for a few seconds.

"It was Grey by half a foot!" ER Nurse Tolliver shouted.

"Grey! Grey won! Oh my God, I can't believe it! The tiny tot got the lot!" Dr. Grieg was almost jumping up and down as he bellowed the news.

The crowd went wild! Half groaned and moaned while the other half cheered wildly. Money exchanged hands all around. People slapped each other on the back as if they were personally responsible for the outcome of the race. Most of them had cell phone pix of the final few minutes of the race. They shared the pix with each other and laughed uproariously.

Inside the entrance to Surgical, two beat up, worn out, finishers stood strangely isolated, bent over with their hands on their knees in identical poses. Their sides heaved with the force of their breathing. Grey managed to look up at Karev.

"Did I really win?" she asked hesitantly, uncertain if they were still friends.

"You really did, Genie Eyes," he answered looking up at her. Alex had never expected this outcome, but he was a good enough sportsman that he could go there now. Besides, the little minnow had really whipped his ass at every turn, just like she promised. He had to admire that in a woman. It had been the no holds barred that killed him. He got that now. Their eyes met and they stared at each other.

Meredith dragged herself upright, "You look trashed."

"You look totaled," Alex straightened up, a smile starting in his eyes.

"Destroyed," she grinned.

"Demolished," he chuckled.

"Messed up!" she declared.

"Wretched!" he shot back.

They looked at each other and then at themselves and burst out laughing.

"You realize this qualifies us to register officially as two crazy people, don't you?" Alex said.

"Yeah, we're nuts. Certifiable. But Alex, it was supposed to be just us. Where did all these people come from? Bailey is going to know. The Chief is going to know. The He-She-Shepherds are going to know. There will be hell to pay and we'll be the ones footing the bill!" she said.

"You know it was the three stooges, Cristina-Moe, George-Curly and Izzie-Larry," Alex said dryly.

"I would have said it was Cristina, the scarecrow; George, the cowardly lion; and Izzie, the tin man," she snickered, "Or Cristina-Samwise, George-Pippin, Izzie-Meriodoc."

"No, we're over referencing The Wizard of Oz and the Lord of the Rings," Alex decreed laughingly, "We've moved on to old TV."

Meredith felt her exhaustion in her bones. She knew she looked as ridiculous as Alex. She and Alex would be paying for this debacle forever through the sheer volume of gossip generated. Her sprained shoulder, bruised knees, savaged foot, scraped face and burning lungs hurt worse as she thought about it. Then she saw Izzie and George and Cristina outside the doors laughing it up with Grieg and Tolliver and Tyler. Her temper flared. The anger and annoyance she had felt at Alex was nothing in comparison to how enraged she felt now. Jerks. Gossiping blatherskites. Ooh, she had a thing about gossip.

"What do you say to taking some payback right now, Doc Halliday?" she asked Alex while glaring at the three Clantons.

He looked out the door, his face turning stone hard grim at the sight.

"I'm with you, Marshal Earp. What's the plan?"

"Desperation plan C."

Meredith pulled two fully loaded squirt guns from her front sweat pants pockets. It was a miracle they'd survived intact. She handed them to Karev. He sniffed the ends suspiciously. Then she reached into the front of her pants and pulled out a small waist pouch that had sagged low over her pubic bone. She unzipped it and pulled out two more water pistols.

"We don't have much ammo, but we can drive them back the way you came."

"Water's no big deal, Mer," he said doubtfully.

"Yeah, but dark blue dye is. So is ethyl mercaptan and butyl seleno mercaptan. They smell disgusting."

"Wow, Mer, these could have broken, or I could have taken them from you," he raised his brows, and tucked his guns in his hoodie pockets.

"I know. I told you they were for a mean desperation plan only," she said, fixing a hawk eye on their prey, discarding her waist belt, and pocketing her guns.

"Let's go. Remember – back the way you came." The two desperadoes, each armed with two pistols, headed for the showdown.

ooo

"Grey did it! She really did it. I won!" the Chief crowed, "Pay up Burke! Four hundred on the nose! That's why... that's why... I'm the chief," he sang.

Burke couldn't believe it. He reluctantly opened his wallet and extracted four one hundred dollar bills. These women! These women were different. He went to the window to try to catch a glimpse of Cristina.

Shepherd watched their antics numbly. He was completely wrung out. Meredith had looked terrible. Her face... she was going to need first aid. He decided he should be the one to administer it. He stood to make his way downstairs.

"What are they doing now?" Burke exclaimed, "This batch of first years...!"

The attendings, including Shepherd and the Chief, who had been slowly filtering out of the room, rushed back to the window.

Three first years were backing down the sidewalk hands raised in the Olde West sign of 'I'm unarmed, please don't shoot me'. The two crazy racers were advancing on them guns drawn. They stood solidly, shoulder to shoulder, looking extremely menacing, even in their ridiculous garb and dirt. One of the Clantons made a wrong move and suddenly, it was high noon at the OK corral.

ooo

Grieg first caught sight of the two racers as they exited the building together. Cell phones in every hand recorded Grey and Karev emerging in all their cut, dirty and semi-naked glory.

"Hey, you two! That was great, hilarious! The best race I've ever seen." Grieg stepped towards them like he wanted to clap them on their backs. He faltered at the unmitigated 'I've ridden the E-train to Hell and back, best not bother me,' look in both pairs of eyes. They actually forced him back with their looks.

Both Tolliver and Tyler melted out of the way to the sides, since they both had long since learned to duck and cover when a doctor had that look on his face. Karev and Grey faced their three 'friends' with the fires of Hell in their eyes. Karev silently held out a hand for the scrub pants Izzie tentatively extended. He pulled them on and tied the drawstring, every motion deliberate.

"Ah... eh... um...," George stumbled to a halt, wildly looking back and forth between them.

"Great race! Did you have fun?" Izzie was still in La-La land. Or at least she pretended to be. Meredith glared at the enormous hoard and then from Izzie to Cristina.

"Look, I only told Burke! That's all, I swear. It was the Bobbsey twins! Seriously!" Cristina started backing away with her hands instinctively raised. The other two followed her. Stone-faced Alex and dark and twisty Meredith glanced once at each other and simultaneously stepped forward with evil intent. They drew their weapons and took aim.

"Seriously!" Grey and Karev said in unison.

"I get Curly," Karev growled, piercing George with his stare.

"I'll take La-La Larry" Grey scowled at Izzie.

"We both take out Moe." Cristina was dead meat.

"You're on."

"Hey... wait," George stuttered.

"Ready... aim...,"

"Wait! ...wait!"

"No."

Alex and Meredith fired four streams of foul smelling blue liquid at point blank range into the dopey faces of the three stooges. Both shot as fast as they could, driving the three back until they broke and ran from the combination of rotten egg, skunk, burned toast, sewer gas, garlic, onions, and rotting cabbage stink of the diluted chemicals in the guns. Alex and Meredith chased after them through a grossed out, yet completely enthralled crowd. More bets were quickly placed. Camera phones were kept busy. People followed despite the stench.

George, Izzie and Cristina ran blindly away from the stinky attack and blundered into the Dead Marshes quagmire. George's arms flailed like a windmill's vanes. Izzie tumbled into George and they both crashed into the muddy pit full length. They rolled over each other trying to get up. Cristina tried to pick her way through the squishy mess but was caught in a crossfire by Meredith and Alex. She hit the ground in self-defense. She ducked her face into the mud. With nothing to lose George and Izzie went on the attack trying to get to Alex to disarm him. He threw aside one empty and calmly picked up a water hose still on full blast and let O'Malley have it in the face. He managed to hit Izzie three more times in the chest before his second gun gave out. Alex choked back a cough from the stench, and turned his high powered hose on Izzie. He grinned at the wet T-shirt contest he'd just created.

Meredith fired her pistols at all three until she drained them dry. Cristina leaped up and lunged for Meredith trying to bring her down into the mud. Mr. Sandage handed Mer a hose and she blasted Cristina in her smug teeth one more time. Meredith started laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

"Alex, how are you feeling? Any better?" Meredith slipped to one knee in the mud and put out a hand to block the mud pies Cristina was throwing at her while yelling threats.

"I'm good! For a chick doc's month long slave, I feel good," he replied happily.

Izzie grabbed Alex up top while George tried to take out his legs. Alex managed to slide his hands around Izzie's muddy torso enjoying himself richly. Then he noticed Cristina and Mer's torso's covered in muddy slurry and openly took advantage of the view, while blasting O'Malley again.

"Exactly what are you five fools doing?!" demanded the only voice that could stop them all in their tracks. All five cringed. Here it came, "I'm sure the rest of you have better things to do than stand around gawking!" Bailey glared at the crowd, which started dispersing immediately.

Meredith saw Shepherd and was mortified. Why! Why did she always have to look horrible when he saw her?

"Get up out of that mess."

"Dr. Bailey, what have we here?" asked the Chief manfully managing to swallow his laughter at the sight of five silly interns mud wrestling, "Mr. Sandage, please be so good as to turn off the water. This grass has been watered enough."

The interns stumbled to their feet and squelched through the muck to stand in a loose row in front of Bailey. Shepherd and Burke, flanking the Chief, didn't bother to hide their complete amusement at the sight in front of them. Meredith and Cristina's gazes turned murderous as the loves of their lives guffawed loudly at them.

"We have five interns begging to be put on scut for a month, sir," Bailey answered the Chief and then nodded at Shepherd and Burke, before she barked at the interns, "What is that foul odor? Why are all of my interns engaged in this unseemly display? Who won the race?"

Alex and Meredith looked at each other. _Who won the race? _They shrugged, not comprehending the Nazi's mind.

"Grey won, Dr. Bailey, in as sweet a finish as I've ever seen," the Chief waxed enthusiastic, forgetting discipline, "Great race, Grey, congratulations. Hard fought, Karev, hard fought. But you should have known better than to bet against a Grey woman, eh Burke?" he rubbed it in. Burke gave a lopsided grin and shrugged while avoiding Cristina's sharp eyes.

"Way to go, Grey," said Bailey serenely, "I knew you'd win. You and Karev go get ready for rounds. We'll talk later. And have all those injuries seen to."

"Uh, thank you." Meredith scraped mud off her leg with one hand and let it plop to the ground. Then she pushed her fly-away mass of messy hair back with the the other hand. She was a bizarre mess of one shoeless, one pant-legless, semi-topless, splendor.

"Hey," Karev said stung, "What do you mean you knew?"

Everyone looked at Bailey, "Karev, you made the classic male mistake of underestimating someone because she was small. Do you really think I am less because I'm short?" she stepped close and cut him down to size with her eyes. Webber, Shepherd and Burke looked everywhere but at the intern and his breast bone high resident.

Meredith grinned at the sight. Alex was walking away saying nothing. He had finally learned to close his big mouth. She started to follow him.

"By the way, Grey, I bet a hundred you'd win. Twenty seven residents took my bet. Thanks for the windfall. You and Karev may have thirty extra minutes before rounds. Today."

Meredith and Alex were stunned.

"C'mon Sundance, let's hit the showers," Karev said tiredly.

"So you're Butch, huh? I would have said we were closer to Lucy and Ethel," Meredith walked away with Alex equally exhausted and ready to escape Shepherd's scrutiny. Thank heavens the She-Shepherd was a slug-a-bed and didn't usually come in before seven.

"So what did you three do that made those two come after you? It must have been bad since they were already exhausted and hurt from the race." demanded Bailey.

All three interns started gabbling at once. Bailey held up her hand. "Whatever it was, don't do it again. This event ends here. Do not even think of carrying a vendetta into my hospital. Am I clear? Go get rid of that stink as best you can, thank goodness they were using a dilute solution, then get ready for rounds."

"But Dr. Bailey, we're blue! We can't do rounds like this!" wailed Izzie.

"So? You are still a doctor, even when you're blue. Move it." Bailey snapped.

They scrambled desperately away, following Karev and Grey.

"Wow, Meredith was mean. I didn't know she had it in her."

"I think we just pushed her too hard, like Alex did."

"Yeah, well, I will love every minute those two spend torturing each other as Karev pays off the bet," Cristina said grimly looking over her shoulder at her chuckling boyfriend, "Grr."

ooo

Meredith stumbled into the elevator, almost falling. Alex caught her.

"Thanks for the revenge, Genie Eyes, it was sweet. Friends again?" he asked.

"Yeah, you and I will have to watch each other's backs for a while, anyway," she said.

"Yeah, did you see O'Malley's face?" Alex burst out laughing again at the memory, "That was worth it all."

Meredith shared his thought and grinned too. She wrapped her arms around Alex and hugged him quickly. Then she dropped her arms embarrassed. He hugged her back just as quickly, dropping his handcuffed arms over her head, and super mussed her mussed hair. They laughed at each other and their special friendship bond grew stronger.

**_Please review the story. I would love to hear from you even if you are reading it after I've finished writing it as a whole. sam_  
**


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